Forgiveness

"Forgiveness" What exactly does that word mean?  Lately, God has been bringing this word to my mind over and over again.    I grew up hearing, "Forgive others as Christ forgave you."  That's real easy to say, but not real easy to do. I have learned this first-hand over the last several months.

I am 31 years old, and honestly, I've never really had a hard time forgiving anyone until the last year of my life.   I'm a girl that will accept an apology and go on with life.  Fortunately, I do not have a nature of holding grudges or staying mad at anyone for a long period of time.  There have been times over the last several months that I wondered if I had just not been hurt bad enough to be unforgiving...because for the first time in my life, I had an attitude of unforgiveness. 

God allowed me to go through some things over the last year or so that grew me in many ways.  I have learned that with suffering and times of hurt many other things come along-such as  a stronger prayer life, a deep desire to seek God, building relationships with others who have suffered or been hurt, and most of all, for me, a lesson on forgiveness. 

I do not want to go into details about who or what happened when I was hurt, but I do want you to know that the Lord taught me so many valuable lessons through this time.  One of the most difficult lessons I had to learn was forgiveness.  When we are hurt, it is easy to justify why we feel the way we feel, and honestly, our justifications may be right...and I believe that God wants to hear all of this, but justifying doesn't make it ok to be unforgiving.

Colossians 3: 13 says, "Bear with one another and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you."  WOW...as the LORD FORGAVE YOU.  I knew in my heart that I needed to pray for about the reason I was feeling so hurt.   One day,  while praying, God clearly said to me, "How can you NOT forgive someone?? YOU ARE FORGIVEN."  I'm not going to say that I jumped up right then and said, "I forgive you for hurting me."  I certainly didn't respond like that.  As a matter of fact, I still said to  myself at times, "I just can't get over this."  However, I was very convicted about my attitude and actions. Forgiveness for me in this situation was a process.


I remember telling a very close friend that there were times when I would be talking to someone who had hurt me deeply, and I would have to say in my heart and in my mind, "I forgive you. I forgive you. I forgive you."   There are times that I could have allowed myself to get mad ALL OVER AGAIN, but I was constantly reminded by the Holy Spirit that Christ forgave me, and I must forgive others LIKE HE FORGIVES ME.  We are all sinners....ALL of us..and this means we are going to fall short, and sometimes hurt other people.

Maybe you are dealing with a similar situation, and you are struggling to forgive someone. I encourage you to get in the Word.  We must cling to His promises and be obedient to His commands.  I cannot explain the freedom that I experienced when I finally let go, and began the forgiveness process in this situation.   The crazy thing is, most of the time, the people who hurt or offend us, do not even know they've done so.  Therefore, if I'm carrying around the weight of anger and resentment, it is only hurting me.  Satan loves it when we are focused on ourselves!!! He LOVES our pity parties! We cannot let him have the victory..he has been defeated!  It is not our "job" to pay anyone back for something they've done to us.  We will ALL answer to the Lord for our actions, attitudes, and even our intentions.

I pray that somehow God has used my situation to speak to you.  I still struggle daily to forgive. We must depend on Christ to help us.

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

Great is His Faithfulness

This weekend has been full of blessings, and I'm not sure why, but it seems as if God's finger has reached down and pointed at each one.  I have been unusually aware of many things in my life that I take for granted-especially the "little things."  I do not think for one moment that my awareness of these gifts is coincidental.  God has been more real to me over the last few days than ever before.

My sister in law introduced me to the book, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, and although I haven't read it (I ordered a copy on Amazon last week, and it cannot get it fast enough), I have been making my list of gifts in my head.  Below I have made a very small list of things God has made me aware of this weekend.  I could list way more than 10, but that is where I will begin.  I challenge you to look around you and become aware of the ways God is blessing you also.  Maybe, like me, you will be shocked at the many things that you have overlooked or taken for granted.

1. A husband who loves me way more than I deserve
2. huge smiles on the faces 2 active boys who were beyond excited about a $10 sprinkler
3. Hearing my 3 year old say, "Mommy please hold me."
4.Getting to spend time with my 2 year old niece, Elyse and hearing her say, "Aunt D, you're my best friend."
5. A family reunion-tables full of food, kids running around giggling, hugs, and lots of smiles
6. A church family that knows what it feels like to go through a difficult time, but at the same time, knows how to stick together and continue pushing forward giving God the glory for all He continues to do
7. Forgiveness-from family members, from friends, but most of all from my Heavenly Father
8. Flowers-I have a new-found obsession...I can't get enough flowers and plants. God amazes me through the beauty of His creation
9. The ability to play the piano and glorify a living Savior
10.  Bible Study with friends who love to laugh and share life together

I was tempted to keep listing...once I began writing them down, more and more came to mind.  I was reminded tonight during a sermon by Dr. Kevin Cooper that EVERYTHING we have is a gift straight from God above...we don't deserve it, we can't earn it, and many times, we aren't even thankful for it.   I thought to myself, "How many times do I EXPECT God to do things for me?"  Why do we think we deserve a "good" life. God has really been speaking to me about this.  Who are we to to demand (Yes, I use demand because I have been guilty of this so many times) things from the God of the universe?  It is only by His grace that we can even utter a prayer to Him.

As I was saying prayers with my boys tonight, God taught me yet another lesson.  My three year old prayed a prayer that contained no "Please God" or "I ask you God" statements.  It was all simple statements of thanks.  "Thank you for finding a match for my Papa." (My father in law has Leukemia and has been in need of a bone marrow donation.  This week they found a match for him....more on that in another post!) He said,  "Thank you for my mama and daddy."  "Thank you for my brother." "Thank you for my church."  Oh my goodness, how much we could learn from the simple prayers of a child.

My heart is so full, I could type all night.  I'm so thankful for a God who sees beyond my selfish attitude and desires a RELATIONSHIP with me.  I can boast of nothing; He deserves all of the glory.

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful." Colossians 4:2